Greetings everyone! I am so glad I happened to find this site! I stumbled onto it while looking for something else. I first began having panic attacks around 1989, when I was 23. Still dealing with them now at age 46. There have often been periods of time where I would have no attacks, but then they return again at some point. I have never talked with anyone about these attacks, although my family knows I have episodes of panic at times. I have never discussed them with a pastor, church leader, or anyone else. I have always been too embarrassed to do so. Having been a Christian since 1981, I know full well that perfect love casts out fear, that the peace of God is available to us, the incomparably great power of God toward those who believe, yet I still have these episodes. In 1990 I was such a mess that my parents took me to a psychiatrist and he put me in a psychiatric hospital for three weeks. He put me on Navane to correct what were described as "racing thoughts." The navane never corrected the jumbled thoughts, but they finally went away on their own after I quit taking the drug.
I have often had these panic attacks just getting onto an interstate on ramp. I would get so fretful and nervous I would sometimes have to pull over or get off at the nearest exit. Twice - once in 1994 and again in 2008 - I went to the hospital thinking I was having a heart attack. Turned out I was not, but I just got worried since heart disease runs in my family. Most recently I have developed panic attacks being afraid of chemical poisoning. I bought a new mattress pad for my bed and noticed it had a horribly strong chemical odor. I washed it three times and the chemicals did not seem to wash out at all. (Someone told me they are likely infused into the fibers to supposedly make them flame retardant) I started to stretch the pad out over my bed - it was giving me a horrible headache. No way I could sleep on that, so I wrapped it up and returned it to the store. I read that is bedding is treated with heavy metals like antimony and feared I was poisoned by it. To make matters worse, my old car broke down shortly after that on the highway and could not afford repairs/towing, so I sold it to a salvage dealer who hauled it away for free. Now I just walk or take the bus. Well, I started to notice a tingling or twitching in my hands and feet. I was afraid I had nerve damage from the treated mattress pad made in China. The tingling would be intermittent, not all the time. I was experiencing these symptoms when I read that others on this site say they experience a tingling or numb feeling in the extremities. My symptoms suddenly improved at that point! I will have this checked out by the doctor just to rule out any physical cause. Chemicals do scare me, though. I try to eat organic food whenever possible and avoid processed foods, and try to eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. Helps me feel better.
I read something on here about how having faith means believing the truth of God's word even when it does not seem true. When I am in the middle of a panic attack, it may not seem like perfect love casts out fear, or that nothing can separate us from the love of God. But these things are still true. I am learning to hold fast to these truths despite the situation I am going through.
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