Hi I am Rach

Hi I am Rach.
Iv been suffering from anxiety and depression most my life but it's only really become a serious problem in my adult years. My father being a man who really taught me nothing except self doubt and disappointment then failed and emotionally destroying relationships have left me so insecure and fearful. I was feeling so alive again and rejuvenated when I first became a Christian and began to feel gods love last year then it happened god made it clear to me who he had chosen for me and shortly after we started seeing each other, at that point I had been a Christian 7mths and felt secure in god I was even doing bible college but then I noticed everything started to slide an urge in me needed desperately to put him first at all cost if he said we maybe able to do something this arv you bet your bottom dollar I put my whole arv aside on a maybe an sometimes when he couldn't make it with legitimate excuses like work I would fall into a depression I would txt him during the day just so he would reply and I would know he hasn't forgotten me. I feel so stupid, he is so patient and tries to be understanding he loves and adores me and tells me time again he's in it for the long hall but nothing seems to settle my heart and I don't know why. He is a Christian boy and is so loyal and beautiful to me I don't want to dump all my mixed up emotions on him but I'm desperate for him to just sometimes hold me and comfort be but things are so busy right now we have to schedule time together he can't just be there an I think it's unfair on him that I should expect that of him but when I'm alone I'm snappy at those around me and I just want to curl up and cry I feel so insecure and I Sony understand why. Please help me.

Hi Rach,

I would like to give you some strong encouraging godly words, but I want to better understand your situation so I can better help you. I get that you father emotionally abused you. It sounds like you've been through bad relationships. And it sounds like you recently became a Christian. And then you were doing well while in bible college, but something happened. What happened? I'm not sure what "arv" means. It sounds like you are having a difficult time with your current relationship. Are you married or just boyfriend/girlfriend. If the latter, living together? Where do you think your anxiety is coming from these days, besides how your father raised you? Why do you think you are snappy and insecure? Please correct any statement I made that misinterpreted what you said, and please fill in the blanks to the questions I asked....