Hello

Hello. A little background about myself: I’m a Christian, and suffer from anxiety and depression. All my life I’ve had trouble making and keeping friends. I rarely let anyone see the real me because I get hurt so easily. Every time I do, the relationship ends in betrayal. It happens frequently. I don’t put on, I’m just who I am. What you see is what you get. Don’t expect anything more, but do expect my end to be loyal and true and I will go the extra mile in a friendship. Too many times in my life I get hurt. I get scathing emails (never done so face to face) telling me how horrible I am. And I’m always left scratching my head asking what did I do wrong?
Tonight, a friend got offended at a Facebook post. It was a peanuts cartoon, Happiness is a best friend. I said I wish I had one. He made an offensive remark that didn’t belong on Facebook and I privately apologized that he felt that way. We’re friends but not best friends. Then I get this long shockingly vicious email detailing my every fault and how my life is peaches compared to his. I was taken aback. It wasn’t a game of one man upmanship, but I tried to defend who I am.
Anyway, another friend told me to ignore it because that family has a history of mental illness on both sides, but I can’t help but question now if there’s something wrong with me … more than the depression. I feel like people are playing mind games with me. I don’t know what to do.
I’m not a bad person.

I am beginning to question my sanity.

Hi Allstar77,
There is no need to question your sanity due to someone's coarse remarks toward you. As you mentioned, your friend is not very reputable. He might have read into your comment, which you said, "You wish you had one," and your friend might have gotten offended thinking that you were insinuating that he or she was not your friend.

But that is not what is really important. The important thing is that you do not question your worth or sanity. That is the beginnings of all anxiety, which can escalate to vicious panic attacks. God has you covered with worth. Jesus died for you. You are worth the Savior's blood on the cross just for you. If you were born over 2,000 years ago and was the last on Earth, Jesus would have still come down to die for you. You are worth more than many sparrows, and God loves all of His creation and put you ahead of one of His beloved species. Jesus sat you next to Himself, who is seated on the right-hand side of the Father.

And as for your sanity...stop questioning it. The issue is deeper than what appears on the surface. Our battle is not flesh and blood, but demonic. Satan wants you questioning your sanity so that he can try to make you not an effective person for God's kingdom. He puts those types of thoughts into your mind. Don't accept his thoughts that he is trying to make become your thoughts. Here is a big, secret of Christianity: not all of your thoughts are your thoughts. Satan whispers his thoughts into our minds. He talked to Eve, and because Eve listened to Satan's ideas, she adopted them as her own. He talks to us just as he talked to Eve. God is into renewing minds.

-Statesman63

Thank you for the encouraging words. After prayer, talking to some friends, and a good night's sleep, I feel better this morning. I'm still in shock, but feeling better.

At work today. Still trying to sort out this mess -- but listening to God, to reason, to myself, and not Satan. You were right about that.

I'll post an update this afternoon. I'm happy I found this site and hope I can be a positive contributor.