Introducing Maude

I am an open book, I am searching for help. I have always suffered from GAD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder- Up until 2 years ago it was under control I dealt with the occasional panick attack with confidence in knowing it would be over soon. Dec 2nd 2009, I had a MASSIVE attack, one like I had never experienced before, (I know the cause of the attack ; lack of sleep, alcohol the night before, 2 XL teas and cigarettes). This attack lasted about 8 hours or more, I was @ work about an hour from home, trying to convince my boss to take me to the hospital (he didnt) after about 4 hours of suffering I finally gained enough courage to drive myself home. On the highway with no water just about 1/3 a bottle of apple juice it was dreadful, cries out to God (not being a christian at the time) I was on the phone with my step father who lives in Ottawa for the whole ride home, just to attempt to keep my mind of of it, My step father is a man of God, High in faith and an unbelievably loving father; He is the one I would call in times like these, but this time was like no other. After an hour of what i call torture I made it home to my apartment, as soon as I got in the door I collapsed on the floor from exhaustion and fell asleep in my hallway for the next 4 hours. Since then, I have never been the same...

3 days after the attack my mother convinced me to move in with here, to a very small town where there is nothing, the next town is a 10 minute drive. I took her offer- packed up my things and left. I left everything, I quit drinking,i left my "friends", my sister my biological father, no partying, turned into no social life really, i left alot behind.. I had/have very few friends here. My life did a complete 180. When i moved here I was in bad shape, nerves were SHOT, some say I had a nervous break down- I was unable to leave the house in fear of having another attack, (agoraphobia) . I slowly started to relax and become more comfortable. sep of 2010 I started college , at first everything was great, I was driving MYSELF to and from the school, which is a 45 min drive, one day I had an attack on the way home- and it disabled me from driving alone, I have not driven alone since then.

To shorten things- I am 24 years old, I gave my heart to the Lord May 31st 2010- I have been sober for 1 Yr 9 Months , have been suffering from a now diagnosed panic disorder for 2 years now.
I am unable to go anywhere unless my parents are with me. If they leave the house most times I need to go with them, I pray and pray and pray, My parents also pray, as I feel it has become a burden on them, me being so dependeant(like a child). They cant really go anywhere without me.

Someone please help. I have tried many many things... I just cant have this get any worse.

ANY insight on this would be greatly appreciated

Hello Maude,

I am no medical doctor. All I can give is spiritual advice, and I will. But I would like to first suggest that you see a pyschiatrist because there are many medications that can help you. I have been on Paxil for many years, but I am about to have my doctor switch medications soon. You should keep going back to the doctor until you find the best combination of meds that work for you, because everyone is different.

Now for spiritual advice that I am able to give: It seems that you have made your parents your crutch in these difficult times. I completely understand that, but I think that you should try changing your crutch to Jesus Christ. Try vividly imagining Jesus holding your hand, walking or driving with you. The bible says that you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength (Phil 4:13).

It is good that you are sober! Try quitting the cigarrettes too because that is working against your health and what you want to be. There are too many carcinogens in cigarrettes. The patch can help you quit.

It seems to me that something else is the cause of your attacks that you didn't mention. You quit the alcohol, but you are still having attacks. The lack of sleep can be remedied, but yet, does not seem to be the root cause either. It is good to identify the real root cause. You don't have to, but if you were to post it I could probably help you even better. Analyze your life and try to come up with the root cause of your attacks. What happened when you first had a panic attack? Again, you don't have to answer here, just food for thought.

There is a concept in Scripture that I would like to point out. Peace is promised in Scripture, as long as we are living right before God. It is important to put away all sin if we are to obtain this promised peace from God. We don't have to be perfect either to have this peace, just not hypocritically trying, but sincerely, in our heart trying. And the best thing of all is that Jesus gives us the necessary strength and power to overcome all sin, because He took the power from sin. "O death where is thy victory? O death where is thy sting?" (The wages of sin is death.) We overcome sin not by our own strength, but by relying on His power to overcome it for us. Galatians 5:16, "So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh." Sin is ultimately the root cause of all the bad we go through. It must be the first thing we address to obtain this peace from God.

Psalm 85:8, "...[God] promises peace to his people, his saints--but let them not return to folly." Psalm 145:13b, "The LORD is faithful to all of his promises..." John 14:17, "Peace I leave you; my peace I give you."

But the opposite is true of those who live in sin: Isaiah 57:21, "'There is no peace,' says my God, 'for the wicked.'"

So God's promise of peace is for us, but we are to "not return to our folly." This peace is only promised to Christians--Christians who are living right before God. Salvation is free, but this peace, we must live right to obtain. Hebrews 4:1 reads, "Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it."

I would like to help more, but I would need to know the root cause to help better. Just never give up faith and hope. God is with you, empowering you to be an overcomer. Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.

Thank-You so kindly for the response.

I am on medications, that help calm me down, But I am still in a constant fear when I am now around my parents. Also I have quit cigarettes, Thank the Lord he helped me through. As for sleep I now get plenty, I eat well and excercise every other day to try and keep my mental health well. I "know" that jesus never leaves us and is always by our sides- I have been going through an attack and crying out to our Lord but still suffered, Maybe I am expecting for God to take the attack away, but he wants me to sit through it, right now I am confused, I know that none of us know Gods will on our lives- but I have been getting discouraged. I have a boyfriend who is trying to help aswell, wondering how I can transer some of my trust over to him. But I know that if I could solely depend on Jesus Christ I would be just fine, but why does that seem so hard to do. I know we all live with sin, I am trying my best to not intentionally sin, where is my peace?

That is certainly a tough question. I'm in the same boat as you pretty much. I think I can offer a few more encouraging words. I think the book of Job was written for people like you and me who are in such a situation that we are forced to question God's will. (I think the book of Job is best read in the NIV version.) Job too asks the deep questions, and later discovers that his suffering produces perserverance, and that God has a greater plan and uses our suffering for our overall benefit and His glory. In the end God blesses Job with much more than he started out with because he remained faithful in his suffering.

James 1:2-3 reads, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." You and I will one day be stronger because of our sufferings we are facing today.

God uses our suffering to strengthen us. A great study is Paul's thorn in the flesh in 2 Corinthians 12. Paul prayed 3 times for God to remove this thorn in his flesh that was harrassing him constantly. His unnamed thorn, could very well be an anxiety disorder. Jesus answered his prayer, saying, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." So Paul concludes that, "Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Chirst's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Paul concluded that when he doesn't try, and accepts that he is weak, he is allowing Jesus to do it for him, otherwise if Paul were to try to overcome the problem himself, he would be getting in the way of God helping him. It is when he is weak that he is strong. It is when we submit to God in our weaknesses that he makes us strong, not with our own strength, but with His, which in essence, is greater than the strength that we could have ever mustered up with through our own efforts.

Just remember that peace is God's promise, so that is really reality. Our feelings lie to us. "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we don't see. (Hebrews 11:1)" God calls us to believe in what he spoke (the unseen) even though our feelings are telling us the opposite, and then His grace works in us and through us so that His word becomes our reality, and the feelings are forced to submit to His word, and then we feel good too. Satan's only power against us is his ability to lie. God's word is truth. Satan's whispering to our feelings is a lie.